A week ago at the dinner table, my older daughter was talking about a little boy in her preschool class. I have noticed that they are often waiting at the same table at pick-up time. She was thinking aloud and said, "**** always wants to be with me, and I always want to be with him. (a thoughtful pause) So, I guess that makes us friends." My husband and I had to stifle our grins. It was adorable. And so it begins.
While looking at the statistics for spousal abuse I came across statistics for dating violence. The Department of Justice has a very informative article about dating violence. www.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/fv-vf/facts-info/dati-freq.html- 54% of high school students report dating abuse among their peers (In a 2000 study of Canadian Males aged 13-17 67% report being abusive to their partner. A 1995 study in Quebec reports that 54% of females & 13% of males report sexual coercion in a dating relationship. And if those stats weren't distressing enough, a Canadian Campus Study of 7,800 university aged students reports 28% of women admit to being sexually abused in the past year [prior to the study], and 11% of men admit to abusing a dating partner in the prior year!)
- Most dating abuse occurs in the home of one of the partners & most sexual abuse occured while under the influence of alcohol or drugs
- 80% of girls who are abused in a dating relationship continue to date their abuser
- An abuser doesn't just become an abuser when they turn 19, it begins in adolescence. Half of sex offenders admit to committing sex offenses before they were 18
- Teens (& young persons) facing dating violence are at an increased risk for substance abuse, negative weight control behaviours, sexually risky behaviours, pregnancy, and suicide. *National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (2001)
It seems that there is a fundamental flaw in our "sex" education (both at the school level and at home). Most people would be shocked if sex education did not include the hows (mechanics) and whats (what can lead to pregnancy or STDs). Teens might learn all about condoms and birth control, but how many are given guidance about creating emotional, physical and sexual boundaries in relationship and how to discuss these with their dating partner? I have always thought that sex education should be explicit. Not in the graphic sense, but in developing communication and emotional management skills and frank discussions about what a healthy relationship looks like (or doesn't look like).
- An abuser doesn't just become an abuser when they turn 19, it begins in adolescence. Half of sex offenders admit to committing sex offenses before they were 18
- Teens (& young persons) facing dating violence are at an increased risk for substance abuse, negative weight control behaviours, sexually risky behaviours, pregnancy, and suicide. *National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (2001)
It seems that there is a fundamental flaw in our "sex" education (both at the school level and at home). Most people would be shocked if sex education did not include the hows (mechanics) and whats (what can lead to pregnancy or STDs). Teens might learn all about condoms and birth control, but how many are given guidance about creating emotional, physical and sexual boundaries in relationship and how to discuss these with their dating partner? I have always thought that sex education should be explicit. Not in the graphic sense, but in developing communication and emotional management skills and frank discussions about what a healthy relationship looks like (or doesn't look like).
Fifty-four percent of parents admit that they haven't talked to their children about dating abuse. Eighty-one percent said that they didn't know if it was an issue or didn't think it was an issue. As a parent, I'm going to be conscious of discussing relationship issues, including dating violence, with my children. In the meantime, Jason will be doing a couple of preschool pick-ups just to check out our daughter's new boy-friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment